tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7051236463724548124.post7429073092021197724..comments2019-10-17T19:59:41.146-07:00Comments on Infertility UGH: Letter to my SILNixyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14635739872891276254noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7051236463724548124.post-62998698775304570242009-12-04T17:36:32.609-08:002009-12-04T17:36:32.609-08:00Ha ha, It's funny, because I started out writi...Ha ha, It's funny, because I started out writing this letter as one that I might actually send, and as I got into it, decided that I should just vent. I think that's the difference between the first and last halves of the letter.<br /><br />Just Me- Thanks much for the advice, I appreciate the help. Written word is touchy because as Nicole said, the words are there for anyone to see and hold against you.<br /><br />I don't think that I'll send the letter, but I do think that I'll say something while at Christmas. I am a TOTAL grudge holder, and I would really like to just clear the air once an for all about this. That way, I think I'll be able to get over it.Nixyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14635739872891276254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7051236463724548124.post-85766876279621133862009-12-04T10:50:06.398-08:002009-12-04T10:50:06.398-08:00I think you could send a version of the email. If ...I think you could send a version of the email. If your goal is to share with her your POV (which clearly she is completely unable to figure out on her own...), I think stating facts and explanations can be helpful.<br /><br />My specific "teacherish" opinion, to maximize her understanding and minimize her defensiveness:<br /><br />-First two paragraphs are good.<br /><br />-I also like the third paragraph, but without the caps on your words of emphasis. (less aggressive)<br /><br />-You make lots of important points throughout the rest of the email, but as you stated some of it is "harsh". :) Some things I'd want to leave in, though maybe tone down or reword:<br /><br />-"During your phone conversation with Sweets, you stated over and over again that this is the best way for everyone, and this was going to make for a better Christmas for all." + something saying "unfortunately, it is not something that is more convenient for us."<br /><br />-This paragraph: "Calling someone and asking them to change their plans..." I think is important, but you could reword it so that it is something along the lines of "I would have felt less upset if you had instead..." or something.<br /><br />-Then definitely mention that you will be unable to arrive at 6am, but will look forward to exchanging family gifts later on.<br />----------------<br /><br />Sorry if that's too long and specific and preachy. I've written lots of touchy emails and letters, between my personal and professional life (those teacher emails to parents can be ROUGH), and those are just things I have discovered in my experience. Feel free to ignore all or any of it. :-) LOL<br /><br />Good luck! Family issues like this is what makes the holidays tough, especially on us infertile. :-/Just mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7051236463724548124.post-49220004853359699662009-12-03T22:34:55.933-08:002009-12-03T22:34:55.933-08:00Depends on you and how you handle things. I think...Depends on you and how you handle things. I think if you not saying anything (email or in person) means you will harbor all this resentment forever (and well deserved!), then you should say something. Easier to say than to do, I know. I hope you decide what is best for you. As far as in email or in person... there are pros and cons to both. In writing is easiest to make sure you get out what you want to say without forgetting anything or being interrupted; but it can also be used against you to have the exact words you said in black and white for everyone to read and be distributed (like you anticipate). In person your words can be twisted and mis-remembered, but you can relay your meaning better with tone and body language as well... I dunno. Whatever you decide! If you tell them off, enjoy it! :)Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11122362716599059627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7051236463724548124.post-36724215721154674732009-12-01T20:45:41.845-08:002009-12-01T20:45:41.845-08:00I have an overly fertile sister that seems to thin...I have an overly fertile sister that seems to think that everything has to be about her and her troop of children, she does things like this and get all shocked and shaken when I don't show up to functions. I vented in a much nicer way than I could. LOL kudos to you!6c6f6c796f75617265616a6f6b65https://www.blogger.com/profile/02969159224878107523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7051236463724548124.post-251437885342942892009-12-01T18:09:39.904-08:002009-12-01T18:09:39.904-08:00So glad you decided to write the letter. I Love t...So glad you decided to write the letter. I Love the P.S. :) I think whatever you decide to do, email the letter, in person or not.. you should do what will make you and Sweets feel better. What an insensitive bitch.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14827590692827778824noreply@blogger.com