Monday, May 10, 2010

A more comprehensive update

Sorry for the short update this weekend, but I wanted to post, and Sweets was around all weekend.  Usually, he works at least one weekend day, and I have some time to myself, but that was not the case.

So, as I said before, it's a girl!   I found out that Sweets REALLY doesn't want the room for her painted pink (not too shocking, but I was a little surprised that he cared).   So, we're going to do one accent wall in a light green, and I'll decorate with pink things.   I must say, I LURVE pink.  

This weekend was the "dreaded Mother's day" for everyone battling IF.  I thought of all my IF buddies frequently through out the day, and did a lot of reflection on where I have been the past few years.   I half-jokingly asked Sweets where my mothers day gift was, and was surprised when he responded that he's bought me a mother's day card for the past few years, and hasn't been able to give them to me, and now that I AM pregnant, he doesn't want to jinx it.    It kind of made me sad.  

We're at 21.5 weeks now, so just another month until we hit "viability."   It's never ceases to amaze me how IF stays with a person.   We're both getting excited now that the ultrasound showed she's healthy, but it's still reserved and punctuated with these moments of doubt and foreboding.   It's really unfair that even when we GET what we've hoped, prayed, and begged for, that we still feel so damn helpless about it all.   ick.

We cleared out the office to make it the nursery, and I'll post pictures when we get it set up (or at least mostly set up).


My replacement for my job started last week, and I only have 7 more weeks of work!   I'm so excited, and a little scared to stop working with 10-12 weeks left to sit around and do nothing, but it wasn't exactly up to me (stupid boss isn't being so nice these days).   So I'm definitely just trying to look at all the great things I'm going to be able to do with my time.   Sew!   Read!   Sleep!  Clean!  Garden!


Things with my mother are getting more crazy, and I'm going to have to talk with her.   I want to do it in person because it's going to be a long involved conversation, but we live 3.5 hours away from each other, so my chances to do that are limited.    We are going to visit for Memorial day, but there is a chance my sister and her family will be there as well, so it may not happen then, either.

Basically, she's blaming my oldest sister for the problems that we are having.  (They have their own separate issues.)   She thinks that my sister has "turned me against her."    Not only is that completely wrong in its own right, but she's also trying to "recruit" my new SIL to "her side."    It's a completely RIDICULOUS situation, and it's being completely fabricated by herself.

The funny thing is that all she's done is made my brother and SIL realize that she's being CRAZY.  They totally see through the BS, and it's having the adverse effect from what my mother wants.   It's almost sweet justice, really.

Erg, so I have to talk with her, and set her straight about my side of the situation, and I'm fully prepared for it to not go well.   I'm also realizing recently that she must have been including my father in on all these discussions (usually he keeps out of the gossip), but he's been acting weird around me.   So that basically means that I need to talk with both of them.   I've never had to do anything like this with my parents, and it's just a little daunting, to say the least.

This is all compounded by the fact that I am incapable of using any amount of TACT.    I fight it, and I'm aware of it, but I swear that things fly out of my mouth that sound so damn rational when I say them, and then I look back and think "what was I THINKING?!?"  

I'll let you all know how it goes...  :)


Also, I owe you all pictures, and I will get to them soon.


  1. Okay, so I'm going to have to take Sweets side on the pink thing. But then I was a total tomboy growing up and would have never be caught dead in pink!

    And I'm kinda totally envious of your 10-12 weeks of DOING NOTHING! Wow! You are going to so love it!

    Sorry to hear about your mom. Sounds like the conversation you're going to have with her is not going to be so much fun. I am NOT envious of that, so, good luck!

  2. I had my heart set on painting an accent wall light green and my husband vetoed that, so we're going with an orangey-pink instead. Funny how these things go, isn't it?

    Sorry you are dealing with work and family drama on top of the continuing stress of pregnancy after IF. ((hugs))

  3. Hooray for a girl! They are so much fun (at least while they are young lol). My daughter's room is beige with one wall that has lilac stripes on it. It turned our pretty cute if I do say so myself.

    Too cute about your husband. Hopefully you will get all of those saved up cards next year (I say hopefully because I hope he finally hands them over!).

    As for your inner infertile, she never goes away. Never. It is a part of who we are and a part of our past. All we can do is make the most of it and find the good things that come from it, such as the fact that we make better mothers than we would have been had we not had to fight so hard to become mothers in the first place.

    Sorry your mom is being a dink. I hope you are able to get some resolution with that. Good luck. :)