Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Thanks to all of you!   It really helps to get other perspectives when stuck in a situation like this.

I think you're right, and that not attending the vacation (while very appealing) isn't really an option because it would be the nail in the coffin of my relationship with my parents.   On the other hand, I have assessed the cost of leaving the vacation early, and it seems like it would only be a few hundred dollars.   We don't really have any extra money laying around, but we could swing that if we had to.   Really, can you put a price on your sanity?

I also think that you're right in that I should just ignore everything.   I really don't want to talk about it, I don't think anything is going to be resolved, because my father will simply back up my mother regardless of how ridiculous she is.  In turn, she's not going to admit that she had anything to do about the matter.   Therefore, I lose regardless.

It's funny/ironic, because in all of the conversations that I had with my siblings, they counseled me to talk with her and deal with it.   My response to them has always been that "this ends badly for me, I can see to the end of it, and I KNOW how it's going to turn out."     Ick.


  1. Ick indeed. Too bad you can't spend it in an alcohol induced haze. Maybe spend as much time "napping" as you can...almost everyone understands that pregnant women need regular naps and to build up sleep reserves whenever possible. And when better than on vacation?


  2. Good luck. I really hope everything turns out better than you expect.

  3. I just went and read your last post before commenting on this one. I kind of know where you are coming from, not in that my mom gossips, but in the way that we don't have a good relationship that usually ends with me talking to her like she is an annoying idiot. I feel bad because she is my mother, but sometimes that woman just rubs me the wrong dang way!

    It seems that like me, you tend to take even the small things your mom says and does and turn mole hills into mountains. My mom came out to help me for a week and a half after my daughter was born. She would ask me what she could do to help and I'd tell her to go read a book or watch TV. Pretty sh*tty huh? She drove me crazy and she wasn't doing anything but trying to help me adjust to being a new mom. I'm still apologizing for that one.

    It doesn't seem like telling your SIL that you had a list of baby names or even that one she liked was on your list is that big of a deal, and certainly not worth getting upset over. That being said, I don't know what else went on or goes on behind the lines. I'm not trying to defend her or you, I'm just saying saying I know I treat my mom the same way, and sometimes we have to choose our battles. Sometimes we have to keep the mole hills, mole hills.

    I say give yourself some space from her for a bit and try to get in touch with what exactly it is about your mom that drives you bat chit crazy and try to work through it. It took me going to a shrink to start really, truly working through my mommy issues. So cliche, but true.

    Remember your mom thinks she is doing the best she can by you. I would hope she isn't trying to be malicious, but if she is, then forget everything I just said. lol

    These relationships really are hard, and I don't think we make them any easier on ourselves. I hope you are able to come to a resolution. Good luck.

  4. Ack....there is no escaping that vacation...but I sure hope you and your mother can get around to more civil terms...the way you describe you father, he will possibly not really fume anymore over this.

    I hope all this gets resolved soon.