Thursday, November 4, 2010

A more well-rounded person

I am always amazed at how going through IF, and getting my legs swept from underneath me in such a way, has made me a more "vocal" person to others going through terrible situations.   I was always one of those people that, while compassionate, I never knew what to say.   Or I'd say the REALLY WRONG thing.  

Of course, I didn't realize how wrong those things were until I battled IF.

A friend that I've drifted apart from (after moving away from our last city) got some terrible news a couple of days ago.    We'll call him James.   His partner and he lived long distance from one another, and James hadn't heard from him for a couple of days.   So, he sent a friend  to check on him  and he was found dead in his apartment.  Now James is headed half way across the country to plan the funeral and bury his partner, completely unexpectedly.   It's awful, and I can't imagine going through it.

Previously, I'm sure that I would have sent a card, or flowers, and waited to hear more from James whenever he wanted to talk.    But that's not what people want when something like this happens, is it?   They don't want to call people, to have to make the effort.   I called and left James a message on his phone, just telling him that I was sorry and I was thinking of him. 

It's so simple that it should be common sense, so why isn't it?    

Baby update:

G is 5 weeks old now, and things are going really well.  She has started to smile, and has learned that when she fusses, she gets attention.   For the past two days, I have been trying to get her to sleep in her crib (and out of her bassinet) but it's not going so hot.   She sleeps for 3 minutes and then jolts awake.  There is something about the crib that just isn't comfortable.   Today, I'm waiting her out.   I will make it happen.


  1. IF is hell, but it has many valuable lessons. I'm sure your friend is very, very appreciative of your gesture.

    Thank you for the baby update! :)

  2. While infertility is rough, I think that it can change people for the better. I think there is so much positive that can come out of something so difficult. I was talking to my dad last night about this exact thing. While it was hard and it sucked, I'm kind of glad I went through it because of who I came out on the other side.

    It really does teach you a whole new level of understanding and compassion. So sorry to hear about your friend. That is just horrible and so heart breaking, especially at this time of year.

    I wish I had some advice for you on the baby front, but my husband made my baby sleep in her crib from about 2 weeks because I wouldn't sleep if she was in my room. Your baby will figure it out. Hang in there.