Friday, April 30, 2010

A Serious Case of the Blahs.

Alright, so it's been a SHAMEFUL amount of time since I last posted, and I completely understand if I have no more readers.    I have been reading and commenting, but I just. can't. bring. myself to put together a post.

I'll be 20 weeks tomorrow, and we have our large ultrasound next Friday.   It'll be the one where they check all the organs and can tell us pink or blue for the nursery.    I've DEFINITELY got a belly, and had the first person ask me just yesterday (who didn't already know) if I was pregnant.    But I still feel bad about getting excited.   It's very surreal.

I suppose have a general apathy around the pregnancy.

People ask:

Have you decided on a nursery theme?   No.
Have you bought anything for the baby?   No. 
Have you picked talked about names?   Not really.
Have you started a registry?  No.

Actually, what I say is:  "We're just waiting to find out if it's a boy/girl."   Because that's more socially acceptable than saying:  "We're just really worried that the 20 week ultrasound will show us something terrible, and so we're just waiting for the all clear before we get excited."   Actually, I'm just hoping that is the reason, because I really WANT to start getting excited.

We opted out of all genetic testing because we wouldn't terminate regardless of the problem.   I think that it's actually caused me to have a little anxiety over this next ultrasound because there really could be something wrong.    But the tests are expensive, and lost of them aren't covered by our insurance, so we opted out of them.

Quick notes to catch up:

  • I have 8 more weeks of work before I'm done.   I'm starting to get excited and scared that I'm going to be bored
  • my weight:    Initial loss=3 (maybe more?  I didn't weigh myself at the beginning so this is just an estimate),     total gain=8.5 pound,     net gain=5.5
  • Silly fact:  My butt is exactly the same size as my belly right now, it grew over night on Monday night (I'm serious, I woke up and had a ba-dunk-a-dunk butt).   I'm VERY symmetrical, and it looks HILARIOUS.  I love it, and it makes me giggle.   Sweets is putting together a picture where he's actually going to measure.    I will post it.


  1. Hey Nixy - this is really weird. I was just thinking about you this morning and wondering how you were doing because you hadn't posted in a while! I'm glad things are going well, but I'm sorry your worry is keeping you from getting excited. But don't beat yourself up over it - it's normal to have worries, and I bet you'll start to put those worries to rest more and more as things continue to go smoothly for you, and I also bet you're going to start getting excited pretty soon!

  2. I couldn't bring myself to buy anything before we knew the gender either. But since then, all bets have been off!

    FYI: Some people say butt growth = girl. But 100% healthy is the most important thing...

  3. I think anyone who has been through infertility waits until well after the first/second trimester to start buying baby things. I think I was toward the end of my second trimester before I started buying anything too.

    The question I always hated people asking me was, "Did you scream when you found out you were finally pregnant?" Um, no. No I did not. Thank you infertility.

    I can't wait to find out what you are having! Just know that once yuo start buying things for the baby, you will go haywire buying more from then on. :)