Infertility has done a lot of horrible things to myself and my marriage, but it has done my husband and me one gigantic favor:
It forced us to work through our issues before having children, and brought us closer together.
We are certainly still a work in progress (just see the last post), but we are getting there. If we had easily gotten pregnant and had a baby by now, we certainly wouldn't have as strong a marriage as we do today. I might even go so far as to say that we'd probably be headed down the road to divorce within the next year or two.
My favorite key chain is from David and Goliath and says "When life hands you lemons... squirt them in the eyes!!" I tend to be that sarcastic, high strung type of personality that fights back fire with fire and doesn't back down. But, at some point in the past 2 or 3 years, I stopped fighting for my marriage. Life with my husband was just too hard with us both having stressful careers, and him working 100+ hours a week. We really let our relationship sit on the back burner. I don't know when it started, but the degradation was slow but steady and it continued until we didn't recognize each other any more.
IF brought us back into the foreground and made us work on ourselves again, and for that I am grateful. So thanks, IF, for giving me at least one good thing.
I am glad that it has brought you back together! It is certainly something that can go by the way side swiftly.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading about your journey in IF!
IF has a funny way of bringing people together, both husbands and wives and women who would never know each other otherwise. It's weird, but as much as I want a baby, it's hard not to be somewhat grateful for the experiences we've had. We're all stronger, better people because of it.
ReplyDeleteIt really does seem that the only good thing to come out of infertility is the strenthening it does to marriages. It really puts you, your spouse, and your relationship to the test. It is rare that I hear about it breaking up a marriage, but I have heard of it happening, sadly. I know it made my alread strong marriage stronger, and that was one reason I was always grateful too.
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