Not much

Not much is going on around here.

I told my boss so that he could start figuring out project related plans.   In the field that I work in, this is very necessary, as long term planning is a necessity.   I asked him not to say anything else, and I think that he'll keep his mouth shut.    He also gave me a book of baby names that he and his wife had used (their done having kids), so that was really cute.

I have been utterly useless at work.    Productivity now=10%.   My job requires much standing and moving, and thinking during the day, and I just haven't been up to it.   I basically sit at my desk with my head on my arms all day long.   I'm wondering how long this will go unnoticed.  (not very long, I'm sure).

Part of me is totally over it all, and doesn't care what people think about me, but part of me is dreadfully scared that everyone is thinking that I'm a slacker.   But seriously, I'm spending most of my time trying not to vomit on people, so they should be thanking me.  :)

On the plus side, I have been continuing my personal training, though cannot bring myself to go to the gym by myself.   I just don't have the energy, so I'm really glad I'm paying someone so that I'm going at least 1 time a week to get a good work out.   It actually does make me feel better while I'm there, also.

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No word yet on my friend's baby.   I haven't wanted to call because it's only been a day, and I'm sure that they are:
1. freaking the hell out.
2.  fielding other calls from people
3. trying to figure out when their parents can visit.

If I haven't had an update by the weekend I'll give her a call, cause I'm sure she'll be out of the hospital by then and may have some time.

This current situation really hits home for me because my husband was born at 30 weeks.   Back in the 1970's it was a little bit more serious than it is now (yea modern medicine!), and Sweets has cerebral palsy.   I have not mentioned this fact about us before because I never really think about it.   It's just how he is.   His case is mild, and many people don't even realize that there is anything wrong with him.    In addition, his cognition was not affected, or at least not that we can tell, cause he's a super-smart-genius-guy.    So impact on our day to day is little, and since it's not supposed to be genetic (or affect my pregnancy in anyway) I don't really think about it.

Sweets has been a little crazy about us planning trips at the end of my pregnancy (anything 3rd trimester).   Our doctor does not restrict travel until 35 weeks, (32 for flying) and so that's what I'm going with.   Sweets is convinced that we're going to have an early baby, and that if we go on one specific trip with my family, planned for my 28th week, that we're going to have our baby in the middle of nowhere, in some ramshackle hospital without a NICU.

I have been telling him he's ridiculous, and refusing to acknowledge his "crazy" about the situation.

So, you might imagine the "I told you so" speech that I got last night after telling him about friend's baby.  

So now I'm left to wonder if I'm wrong about the whole thing?    I mean, I worry SO MUCH about something terrible happening (as most IFers do), that I just really don't want to GIVE IN to it.   I don't want the worry to win.    So I ignore it.    Maybe that's stupid, but it's my coping mechanism.  Otherwise, I wouldn't get out of bed.