So I mentioned this briefly on a post at Womb for Improvement, but I thought that I'd elaborate.
My Brother married a wonderful woman this past September. They made no secret of the fact that they were going to start trying right away, and tried to recruit us into it as well, "So that our kids could grow up together." Part of me was PETRIFIED that they would get pregnant right away (she's already 35), and leave us with another slap to the face.
There are two reasons that this dynamic is continuing to make me a little uncomfortable around my family even though I'm pregnant now. First off, we are planning on telling my brother, SIL, sister and BIL at an extended family get together next weekend (I'll be 10 weeks along). I'm trying to figure out a nice way to tell my brother and SIL. I do NOT want to be responsible for causing them hurt. I can just imagine the "frozen faced smile" that I've given to so many people upon hearing their own good news. I'm left to wonder if I should call them before-hand? Wait until we're alone? Do it in a big group so that they don't feel the need to celebrate with us? I don't know, but it's a subject of some anxiety on my part.
Secondly, my mother will not shut up about them trying. Apparently my sister in law is worried about autism because of her age, and because her sister has a severely autistic son. She made the mistake of telling my mom about it, and now that's the only thing my mom will talk about. Everything from just telling people around her that SIL is worried, to contemplating whether or not SIL and brother should go straight to IVF, and chose female embies because girls have a lower risk of autism. I mean, seriously, who does that?
It literally makes me want to scream at her. As it is, I try to shut down her conversations in other ways so I don't have to listen to it (if I stick my head in the sand, then no one can see me, right?), but that really doesn't stop her.
This situation makes me incredibly happy about two things:
1. That I've been distancing myself from my mother, thus lowering the chance that I have to talk to her about anything, let alone this.
2. That we didn't tell her about our own IF. I would be contemplating murder/suicide right now if I was the one that she was talking about. I can only hope that SIL doesn't realize that this is happening.
I'm headed to a funeral this weekend, and thus will be MIA for the next few days. I'll catch up when I make it back!