I was that person. The one who would have said "Why don't you just adopt?" or "I have a friend who just stopped trying and poof! They got pregnant!" Now, thankfully, I was NEVER put into that position, because most of my friends married after us, and have not started trying to add to their families. I don't have to look back and regret actually doing that to someone, which I count as a blessing.
I think that in part, this is a large reason that I have trepidation about telling those in my life about our struggle with IF. And I really don't blame people who react with the "adoption" or "advice" type comments, because I can certainly relate. I just simply don't want to hear it, or come up with canned responses for them.
After going through this whole IF process I have developed a lot as a person. And I look at all the women who have been through so much more than I have and wonder how they do it. I have a lot more empathy for those around me, and bite my tongue on a regular basis. I still have a long way to go, but I'm more aware now of my words and advice. I pay attention to what is unsaid in addition to what is voiced.
I can't help but wonder if God has led me down this path as a way to make me realize my faults. To help me grow as a person. To help make my marriage stronger as a result.
At least I hope so.