This Saturday, Sweets dropped me off for my nine o'clock gym/training session and then took the car for the rest of the morning to work. He knew that this is my only weekend to complete all of our Xmas shopping, and that I'd do what shopping I could do around the house, but be waiting for the car to hit the mall when he made it home. I knew that he was bringing home a coworker to hang out for the rest of the day when they were both done at work.
I talked to him around 12:30 and he said he could bring the car home then, or wait for his other coworker to be ready which would take a couple of hours.
Now, Sweets has a SERIOUS problem making a decisions. He basically wants me to make decisions for everything from what we eat for dinner, etc. But in addition to this, he will tell me "no, I don't want that" as I suggest a hundred things. It drives me crazy on a normal day.
So, I tell him that he needs to make this decision. And he just repeats himself, "Well, I could come home if you want me to." Now, I'm sick of being the bad guy and making his decisions all the time. So I repeatedly tell him to make a decision, and when he doesn't, I get mad and hang up on him. (Childish, I know)
So I head out on the bus and hit a shopping area that is a mile or so away from my house. I did what shopping I could do, but after a few hours I was tired, and cranky and present laden. So I call Sweets and ask him if he's headed back any time soon because I'm tired, and cranky, the bus has been re-routed for construction and I'd have to walk about half way home to catch it. He tells me that he's on his way to lunch with a couple of coworkers so it might be awhile.
To which I FREAK. Completely, irrationally FREAK out. Crazy infertile comes out, screaming "NOW you're wasting your time going out to lunch with friends!?! While I'm running freaking errands and waiting for him to come back with the car?! You've got to be kidding me!"
And I tell him I'll find my own way home, and hang up on him. And refuse to pick up his phone calls, and start walking home. He texts me that he's on his way, and I tell him not to bother. I walked home (did I mention it was only 30 degrees?), and he came home anyway. And brings his coworker. I'm assuming as a buffer so that I wouldn't yell at him right then. Then his coworker stayed over for 6 freaking hours, basically right until I went to bed.
Now, I understand that I completely overreacted, and that this is not something I would have done with out the crazy hormones in my system. But I REALLY wanted him to pick me. To understand that I was doing something I HATE doing (Xmas shopping is evil) for the both of us, and the least he could have done was get me the car to make it easier. Or not planned to have lunch with his friends to drive me home.
Now I'm left wondering if I'll do the progesterone in subsequent cycles. I'm not sure if our relationship can handle me being so off kilter in addition to everything else.
I have too many posts in my head swimming around that I want to write about. It's actually been preventing me from writing the past couple of days. I'm going to try to get them all out this week.