So here's the timeline for our holiday.
W - 23rd - fly across country and arrive at 10 pm. drive 1 hour to MIL's house.
Th - 24th - Drive to SIL's house. Crazy will ensue.
F - 25th - Xmas
Sat - 26th - Drive back to MIL's house. She and (step) FIL will go out bowling
Sun - 27th - no plans, maybe extended family
Mon - fly home.
So I promptly tell Sweets that we should go into the large city that is ~ an hour away from MIL's house because we haven't been there in years. We can have a nice dinner or something, and just hang out together. He drags his feet about this because he doesn't want to get in the way of other peoples plans. (This, of course, makes me FREAK because of the way they are all behaving.)
I send MIL an email that says "Hey! Sweets just told me you're bowling on Saturday night, and I was thinking about hitting the big city. We haven't been there in years, and it would be so much fun. However, it doesn't make sense for us to drive all the way to your house just to double back to the big city, so would you mind dropping us off on the the way home? Not even all the way there, but to somewhere we could grab a train or bus would be great."
Her response? (paraphrase): " I mentioned to Sweets about bowling because I know it's your anniversary and maybe you'd like to do something together, so if you want to go into the city that day, that's fine with us. As for getting there, we will have our DOG WITH US, so we'll have to play it by ear. Maybe you'll have to get a ride from other SIL. Though there may be a bus right from SIL's small town. I'll figure out if there is a way to do it."
This has disaster written all over it. I read the email to Sweets and his response? "THAT'S not what she told me on the phone. She said that she has to play this game because of the way the league is run, and they've already missed too many games."
I wrote back a really nice email thanking her for being so thoughtful, and to let me know if she needs anything from us to make it happen. But I'm not counting on it. I also stated that we usually choose not to celebrate our anniversary because it's so close to Xmas, and we want to see the family. (Actually hadn't even known what day it was that weekend, because it's so not on my radar.)
The best part!?! I just realized that our anniversary is SUNDAY.
This is actually starting to be comical. It's making me laugh, which is a lot better than before. I never expect them to be something they aren't, and to not be selfish, but I'm working on getting Sweets on the same page, so that we can distance ourselves from the crazy at least a little bit.